It seems like the concept of “monthsary” was invented by Filipinos. Google the word “monthsary” and 99% of the links you will come up with are Filipino blogs. I said 99% because I didn’t bother to check if there’s an international link there. There should be a few, though, because Filipinos are all over the world and they’re bound to spread the concept of “monthsary” to foreign countries.
The first link in Google is from Urban Dictionary. The first definition says that a monthsary is celebrated like an anniversary but you only celebrate it for the first eleven months of the relationship since the twelfth month is already an anniversary. It has 52 thumbs up and seven down as of this writing.
Urban Dictionary’s third definition is even more revealing. It reads:
“Commonly used among Filipinos. Its actually supposed to be monthiversary. for some reason they use it. monthsary mean that a couple has been together for a month, thus, monthsary!”
I’m quite sure a Filipino wrote that definition or a foreigner with a Filipino partner. The definition ends:
“used rather than anniversary coz couples are playas and b*tches enough to be together for only a meager amount of time.”
Now, that’s informative — or at least, insightful. Indeed, a monthsary seems to be a convenient way to enjoy the pleasures of celebrating a committed relationship without necessarily being committed to a long-term relationship at all.
Love in Bite-Size Pieces
Through monthsaries, couples can cherish their romantic moments together and celebrate them with dinner dates, sweet gifts, mushy lines, and beautiful kisses — without actually having to plod through a whole year. It’s romance in bite-size pieces.
Nothing wrong with that. In fact, I believe that love naturally comes in bite-size pieces. It comes in short bursts of passion and heartache that consume the two parties in love. I think love, due to its fickle nature, should even be marked every day.
It is merely due to people’s strong wish to make things last forever that they choose to celebrate anniversaries rather than monthsaries or daysaries (Filipinos actually are inventive enough to also think of this term. Google “daysary” for proof).
Anniversary: A Milestone of What?
Anniversaries don’t tell you anything about the quality of love that’s in a relationship. The assumption is that the love must have been really good for the relationship to last that long. But assuming that, yes, an anniversary tells you that a couple has been together for a year, what else does it say? Doesn’t the term hide a whole calendar of events that took place during that time? Doesn’t it skip the question of feelings that were felt, energies that were spent, sacrifices that have been made, and changes that may have changed the two people forever?
I think that in the end, the term “anniversary” is more misleading than a “monthsary.” After all, this is the modern world and we’re always talking about love. We’re not talking about arranged relationships and marriages here. Wealth, though still an issue, is kind of taboo and gets swept under the rug. No, we’re definitely talking about love here. People celebrate relationships because of love.
Isn’t it awful to celebrate something that has lasted a whole damn year even when you’re unsure if that something is love? It could just have been your own weakness or vulnerability that has become an addiction for you for a year. It could have been powerlessness or fear. It could have been any sad something that is other than love. The thought of celebrating your own monsters is horrible.
Of course, anniversaries could also say love has lasted a year — but why wait to celebrate love? By then, it might already be too late for you to celebrate anything.
Proud of the Pinoy Monthsary
I’m quite proud that we, Filipinos, were the ones who invented monthsaries. I think it goes to show how much we value loving each other. We just can’t wait for a year to paint the sky red with passion. It just doesn’t make sense to our culture of closeness and intimacy.
As the postmodern world speeds up each hour however, the rest of the world might eventually see the merits of monthsaries. Think of how convenient it would be for people to love and fall out of love through monthsaries. People need double, triple jobs to get by, so the time for romance gets shorter and shorter every day. Monthsaries would become achievements worth celebrating universally. Pretty soon, most people would probably just count months and not years due to the impracticality of the latter! That is a sad thought.
I’m really not against anniversaries. However, if you tell me that you’re celebrating your monthsary rather than your anniversary, I might give you a sweeter smile and a more heartfelt pat on the back.
To Chemae: Happy second monthsary! I love you like the mind loves ideas.