Words about love have a penchant for evoking the epic in us; perhaps because all our lives, we’ve listened to ’80s love songs on the radio and watched crazy romantic comedies that showed us how amazingly vaudevillian love can be. Sweet messages and heartfelt promises always stroke us the right way, and we wish to fall for someone madly, deeply.
I start with this because I have come to appreciate people’s admiration for my love for Chemae expressed in a torrent of words. I’m not sure if it is proper but I do thank those who click the “like” button on facebook whenever I say something cheesy. It’s a good feeling when people actually sympathize with my ramblings splattered all over her facebook wall and my facebook wall, her blog and mine. I’ve probably expressed my feelings in every nook and cranny of cyberspace for everyone to see.
Never did I mean all that to be a spectacle, of course. If some people found it to be too distracting, mushy or gaudy, I’m sorry but it’s for them to click the X on the upper right hand corner because my love on the Web is staying.
It’s everywhere I look when I turn on my computer but the object of that love is gone now.
Incredible how some 10 or so blog posts ago, I was anticipating a certain plane to arrive and carry her across the skies out of my reach. And now, at this very moment, 6:17 PM here in Manila, she’s aboard that plane I have imagined for almost two years. However you look at it, Chemae has finally left me.
But I’m afraid the only thing I can do is keep on blabbering about her. More thoughts of yearning to be with her will coalesce into letters, and letters will unite to form words, and a string of words will continue to unroll from my fingertips. Nothing can stop me.
I say this to warn everybody of the epic things I’m going to be spewing in the next weeks, months — or years. Unfortunately, those who may be sick of me or us cannot pull off anything to stop this madness I’ve rationally decided upon to continue. I can only hope that there are people out there who will still understand the need for my words to rain down upon everything.
I understand some people like to keep their love hidden from the crowd; but over the course of my relationship with Chemae, I found that mine simply cannot just lock itself up in my mind.
It’s as if I can only love her through a spectacle of words. But I shouldn’t even be wondering out loud about that for she has always been the brightest star of my life.