Tag Archives: boredom

Just Skip This One. I Badly Need Some Sleep.

Why is my blog not as personal as other blogs?

The enthusiastic imaginary audience of this blog may be asking, “Why not tell people more about yourself? Why keep on analyzing things that people don’t really care about? Why write poems and fictional stuff only you can comprehend? Why do you always sound so bored and sleepy?”

Good questions, imaginary audience. Good questions. Now, let me answer. Maybe I should go through this one by one just to be clear. Continue reading

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A Philosophy of Happiness

You don’t have to take my word for it, but I’ve been lonely enough in the past and happy enough in the present to say that someday, you’ll realize happiness is all about them, not you. That is, the only way to be happy or have a semblance of that feeling is to make everyone around you happy, or at least more positive about life than you. The ego is an empty shell, a dark cavern filled with stale air. Amusing ourselves with fanciful vacations, a cabinet full of DVDs, an altar of trophies and recognitions — the thrill fades after a while, once our brains develop enough neural networks and mature enough to realize we’re just setting ourselves up for a huge fall during the midlife crisis. The more exciting it is at the beginning, the more hollow it is in the end. Continue reading

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Filed under Random Thoughts

Pinball Reflections 1-25

pinball

1
At some point in his life, a person may stumble upon the erroneous conclusion about himself that he is awesome. He believes it for the rest of his life.
2
To put on a show for other people — one must be really bored with himself when he’s all alone.
3
An egg breaks when you drop it. A man bleeds when you stab him. A baby stops crying when you feed her. So where’s the need for superstition?
4
We just hate it when someone speaks for our thoughts more clearly than how we would have done it. Makes us feel all dumb and silent.
5
A man who searches for hidden things is a desperate man. Continue reading

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Fantasy Genre

He got up from the chair and did some jumping jacks. The morning people stood up when he walked briskly in front of them and did the robot dance followed by a slick moonwalk. His boss, cussing, ran outside his office when he stood on his table and did a tapdance, then consequently screamed his name to the blank blue ceiling.

He ran as fast as he could toward the elevators, pounded the arrows until one of them broke and his palms were raw. The doors opened and he leapt inside to the shock of everyone. There’s a harrassed pretty girl inside and he winked at her saying, “Fuck yeah!”

Off to the other floor where he kicked the first monitor he saw and sent it crashing to the ground. He ruffled every hair with his excited hands. Someone tried to stop him but he turned around and bit his arm. Then he grabbed someone’s bag of chips and poured it into his mouth.

Before the guard could catch him, he escaped by pushing everyone aside, grabbed a colleague’s boob in the process shouting, “Good morning, woman!” A split second before he held the doorknob, he spat on the guard’s record book and slid down the hallway on his knees. His saliva blotted the record books’s cheap blue ink.

His feet went down the fire exit like two cars racing against each other. He tripped, fell down two staircases and busted his lip. Blood gushing out of his mouth, he discovered he left something behind. His yellow tooth was on the dirty cement as well as his troubles.

Behind him 10 people tried to catch up. He burst open the ground floor door and threw some coins at the scandalled receptionist’s head. Through the screams of terror and dread, he let out a joyous laugh, which led him to the door and to the street outside.

So he ran and he ran and he ran and he ran. He ran until he remembered he hasn’t drunk one drop of water since last night. He fell on his back, surprising pedestrians, looked up to the blue sky then wrote the name of his love in the air.

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The Strange Adventures of a Bored Mind in the Office (or Writing Without Really Writing Anything)

How strange is this?

As this massive ball of earth and water spins in the seemingly infinite space of the universe, and as random people talk about new worries and problems in their lives, like random amateur photographers talking about how to score the newest, costliest DSLR camera, I am here in front of the computer screen, staring at it for about an hour now, trying to squeeze out some words to write?

I’m taking a break from my work and writing something personal. The problem is there’s nothing personal to write.

In a way, I’m actually spending large amounts of time, figuring out how best to describe my life.

That’s pretty strange to me. Continue reading

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Filed under Life, Random Thoughts

The Global Economy Falls Into Recession and I’m on Facebook

I’m watching YouTube and surfing Facebook, Multiply, and other websites while hungry and determined applicants take exams to get hired by the company. The irony of this unproductive life is sometimes overwhelming.

I’m still floating, still waiting for a client to descend from the heavens and save me from joblessness. It is pathetic and I don’t deny it one bit.

But what is the better thing to do? I’m still getting paid to do the boring things I do. No one seems to be bothered by the fact that I’m watching Pupil’s music videos for eight hours. They pay me the same thing, so why strive harder and look for a job out there?

I have a month or more of client-less surfing and cyberslacking (if you can even call it that) before the company chucks me out. I say enjoy the relaxed, stress-free life rather than seek a new job.

I’m aware that my reasoning here stinks, especially to people who are dedicated to their careers and to their future. I’ve always been cool when it comes to my career though, so I’m not easily bothered by these things. Jobs will always be out there. My e-mail is still filled with ads for writing jobs. I’m getting one of those jobs when the company finally decides to throw me out. Until then, I’ll gladly use their free and fast Internet connection.

My resume should get me somewhere. It should give me my bread. I try not to worry, and I really don’t, most of the time.

There are times when I feel like I’m walking leisurely in a field of land mines or I’m rowing a small boat in shark-infested waters. The global economy is ailing, people are losing their jobs, homes and getting hungry, while I sit here, updating my status on Facebook. Worse, when there’s nothing better to do, I spend my lunch break in the mall. Yes, I’m malling and surfing as the world crumbles down.

And today, I feel kind of guilty that I’m so relaxed when all around me, these applicants are really putting their brains to work to answer the test. The guilt is not enough to push me to find a new job later, though. No, I’ll definitely surf some more later.

The irony of this unproductive life is sometimes overwhelming.

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Filed under Life, Random Thoughts